Whether you admit it or not, you’ve felt the feeling before, the feeling in which a girl you like doesn’t feel the same way. The rush of blood that gushes to your head when she replies your text message or the gut punch you feel when she’s probably read your text but has decided not to respond. These uniquely distinct feelings are the initial feelings of love; puppy love, as some like to characterize, but love nonetheless. So she plagues your mind on your commute to work, when you’re ordering lunch, and when you’re alone in your thoughts. And the hard truth is that you like her, even though she probably has no idea, and you may have somehow convinced yourself that you love her. But she doesn’t feel the same way, not yet at least, or maybe she never will. What do you do, what can you do?
SWEAT IT OUT
No one has ever said these words “I regret going to the gym.” The absolute best thing you can do to shake this girl off your mind is to go to the gym and sweat it out. Develop a workout routine, decide on a physical goal that you want achieved, and set out to accomplish it. The health benefits of working out are self-explanatory, but the psychological benefits of sweating it out will help you focus on more important things; like yourself.
The stronger you are, the more fit you are, the better you look, the better you’ll feel about yourself. If you love yourself and feel good about yourself, others will look at you and think the same. So if you’re stuck in the gutter, especially over a girl, go to the gym and power through. And remember this, when you’re on your last set, about to quit, think about all the people that have offended you make them eat their words!
FOCUS ON YOUR CAREER AND PASSIONS
When you’re not feeling quite like yourself and you need an emotional pickup, refocus your energy on your career and/or your passions. A career that you’re proud of and feel good about is something that no one can take away from you. You’ve put in your sweat and grind to build the equity, this is an emotional investment that you can be proud of.
You should also take some time to find out what you really love to do. If you’re in an emotional rut, the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn even more about yourself. What is it that you love to do? What is it that you’re good at? What makes you happy when you’re by yourself and you have some alone time? Figure it out, then work on perfecting it. Loving yourself is the first step.
There are two ways to look at this situation. The first approach: you can feel sorry for yourself if the person you like doesn’t feel the same way and believe it’s all over for you. The second: is you take the logical approach and tell yourself that there are many other girls out there that you can like and will like and will like you back as well! Truth is, the reality of a situation is whatever you want to make of it.
I know this sounds unsentimental, but the reality is that love is a numbers game. You try and try, and then you date and date, and then you love and break up and love and break up again until you find the one girl that basically makes you want to give up the whole process. So if you think about it, it’s all about how many times you put yourself out there till you find the one. And if this one girl doesn’t like you, fine, others will. This is the reality.
LEARN TO CUT YOUR LOSSES
Sometimes it just isn’t meant to be. This is a tough pill to swallow, but swallow it you must. Love and attraction are things that cannot be forced. There is absolutely nothing you can do to make a girl love you. Yes you can be nice to her, yes you can buy her nice things maybe, yes you can be there for her, but if she doesn’t feel the same way, she just doesn’t feel the same way. And this is what makes love so euphoric and mysterious and melancholy; both heartstrings must strike the same chord at the same time to create a harmony. And if you play love’s tune first and it fades and she hums it later and it fades, then blame it on timing. And if you’ve loved her once before and she didn’t feel the same way then comes to her senses in the future but you’ve moved on, then blame it on fate. But if you like her now and she doesn’t, then don’t blame yourself. Sure you might’ve invested some emotion into the whole ordeal, some time, some frustration, some of your heart. But these scars build stronger tissue. Don’t worry though, trust me, learn to cut your losses and move on. Focus on yourself and the rest will come.